On January 12th, 21-year-old Michelle Rowe rang the loveliest of sounds as she received a bell through the post putting an end to a journey of tremendous pain, constant uncertainty and several devastating setbacks that started in August 2019 when Michelle was diagnosed with stage four Non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
Confirmation of Michelle Rowe receiving the all-clear has touched the hearts of us all and despite the lengthy battle that the Billericay resident has endured, Michelle remarkably stayed positive, using her diagnosis as a “superpower”, completely changing her outlook on life and stripping back any previous fears that would have previously held Michelle back.
Michelle started her own YouTube channel where she created a community for people to feel safe, seek help and also help others by uploading her own emotional experiences with cancer allowing her to speak openly and come to terms with her diagnosis.
Social media has acted as a coping mechanism over the last eighteen months for Michelle who not only amassed tens of thousands of followers through posting regular content on TikTok but has also furthered her extreme talent for photography through her website www.shellrowephotos.com.
With dreams of becoming a cinematographer/photographer, working on the TV show Killing Eve and being successful on platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, Michelle has proven that nothing is impossible having overcome and defeated the biggest battle of them all.
CommunityAd were fortunate enough to catch up with Michelle, who is currently in her final year of studying Film & Television at the University of Herts, where we looked back on her journey…
Can you inform readers just how difficult this journey has been for you?
2019 was meant to be one of the best of my life. I was getting ready to embark on a study abroad year in California, one of my favourite places in the world, when a week before I was set to go, I got diagnosed with cancer out of the blue. I had missed all of the signs, even the tumours that had been slowly growing on my neck since April, so when I got told I had cancer in August 2019 I was completely unprepared and beside myself.
Since then, my life has pretty much been a constant physical and mental battle as I’ve had to undergo 3 types of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and now CAR-T cell therapy due to the very aggressive nature of my illness. Just as I start to come to terms with my diagnosis it always seems to throw something new at me, it makes it hard to ever feel in control.
When I first got diagnosed, I was given a pretty standard treatment plan and I responded to it, in my doctor’s words, ‘excellently’. After the first cycle my mass of tumours had almost fully disappeared, which made me feel very confident that this would just be a small blip in my life and I would be back to normal in a few months. However, after being in remission for just 1 month, I relapsed and was re-diagnosed. Since then, everything has been uncertain. I didn’t respond to the next treatment, my tumours kept growingly rapidly, and I was told that my cancer was so aggressive that chemotherapy would never work for me. I had to start a new treatment plan involving radiotherapy and CAR-T cell therapy, which is now my last real hope of ever beating cancer. I can’t put in to words how utterly devastating it is to be told at 21 years old that you’re running out of options.
Who would you say has been your rock through it all?
My rock through this whole process has been my girlfriend, Hannah. Her patience, compassion and selflessness has been overwhelming.
When I first got diagnosed, I told her that I would not be angry if she wanted to leave. Whilst most people would naturally assume that their partners would stay if they got sick, and even brand them as selfish and heartless if they didn’t, it is important not to underestimate the sacrifice that comes with caring for someone with cancer. It is far from glamorous, and should not be romanticised. People may think it just entails her looking after me when I’m sick, washing me and dressing me on days when I’m bad etc, but it’s much more than that.
Without complaint, she has put up with my constant mood swings and bouts of anger and frustration even if it is irrationally and unfairly aimed at her. She’s learnt to cut my hair when I hated my appearance, but was too scared to go to the barbers as a girl. She ventures out into the cold and dark to retrieve me snacks when I have an emotional breakdown at 12am. She’s even become my personal interior designer and decorated my room so it could be a calming environment for me whilst I’m stuck inside so much. Most importantly though, she’s put her entire life on hold for me. Since I have to strictly shield due to COVID, she moved into my house to care for me, meaning that she couldn’t see her friends or family, whom she’s incredibly close with, for months on end. For nearly a year she’s agreed to living a life where the most exciting thing we can do is a date to Tesco just to be in my company.
Having stayed indoors for the majority of the past year, how have you been able to cope and keep yourself entertained?
The most I can look forward to now is a trip to Tesco, as I’m still a high risk and shielding. Given that I’ve been house-bound for the best-part of the last year, I’ve had to learn how to keep myself entertained. Primarily, I work on a lot of creative projects with my camera from taking product photography, to self-portraits and my most recent venture being building a miniature scale set inspired by Mondrian, which I have photoshopped myself into. I’m a completely self-taught photographer, and I’ve spent most of my time in the last year working towards my ambition of going freelance. If you’d like to see my work, it’s available at www.shellrowephotos.com.
You clearly have a massive talent not only behind the screen but also in video production and photography, what would you say fills you with the most joy, though?
Honestly, photography is my biggest joy in life. It brings me so much fulfilment and purpose that is incomparable to anything else. I believe that pictures and videos are invaluable, and eventually will be the only real things we will have left that matter. I almost on a daily basis scroll through my camera roll to reminisce on memories I have shared with my friends and family, and on my worst days it helps me to remember that no matter what, I have lived a very fortunate and fulfilling life.
What do you enjoy most about living in Billericay?
The best part about living in Billericay is the exclusive membership to the Billericay Discussion Page on Facebook. It brings me hours of entertainment, what more can I say!
What advice would you give to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer?
I would advise anyone diagnosed with cancer to utilise the services offered my Macmillan, Teenage Cancer Trust or any cancer charity of their choosing – don’t be afraid to ask for help. They can support you with finances such as benefits, disabled badges, wigs, support groups and a whole host of other things.
I would also say that if you are worried about losing your hair, try to look for the positives. I saved a load of money on shampoo and conditioner, was able to paint my head as a bauble at Christmas time, and could get ready in two minutes in the morning meaning I could cling to my duvet for an extra hour, what a win.
Has your outlook on life changed over the last eighteen months?
Being diagnosed has completely changed my outlook on life. I’ve learnt that nothing is guaranteed. Before, I very much lived thinking ‘there’s always tomorrow’ and ‘I’ve got time’ so I’d put off things I wanted to do and make constant excuses for myself. In a way having cancer is like a superpower, because suddenly all the fears that held me back have become trivial and unimportant. I had wanted to start a YouTube channel or post content on TikTok for years, but had convinced myself that people I knew would find it really embarrassing and laugh at me, but now they’re laughing with me and I’ve accumulated nearly 35,000 followers in the last few months. I wondered what else I’ve stopped myself from doing and the opportunities I’ve missed in fear of my public perception.
At sixth form I was very confident in my creative ability, but when I got to uni and started studying a very competitive film degree, I allowed people to tear me down and make me feel that the aspirations I had were unattainable. Now, I know that the only limits I have will be set by myself. I manage to stay so positive because I don’t want to waste any more time. I count my blessings, I appreciate the friends and family I am surrounded by, and always look for the little things to make me smile.